


#KlanceIsReal

by noahfense



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Conspiracy Theories, Conspiracy Theorist Keith (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Adoptive Siblings, Lots of Mentions about Sex, M/M, Mentioned Sister James, Not beta'd we die like men, POV Outsider, Social Media, Tumblr, Twitter, YouTube, broganes, fandoms - Freeform, like it looks ugly on mobile :-/, not mobile friendly, yah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-11-13 14:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18033845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahfense/pseuds/noahfense
Summary: @lancemcclaimsthisass : anyway klance is canon yeehaw!- or the au where the gang are youtubers and their whole fanbase ships klance but lance is actually dating keith's brother :-)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> asadjlsalkjf i wrote this impulsively while watching Kendall Rae videos because i needed something dumb to write to get away from my uh actually plot driven fics so sorry if this isn't good, not beta read. 
> 
> also i literally came up with all of these usernames as i wrote this so sorry to anyone who actually has these usernames, they're not actually being referenced in this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh this is part one of three! and since this story is told in incrimates it'll get more shancey as we go along :)

**Kanye West and other Celebrity Conspiracies | Conspiracy Tuesdays w/ Keith  
** **Uploaded by Lance McClain**

"Hi Sisters!" The video starts with Keith sitting in Lance's filming room. A large Mona Lisa-esque painted portrait of their pets wearing crowns hanging in the background on a soft blue wall. Keith standing out against it vastly, all pale skin and black hoodie. He's got a mischievous look on his face as he looks at someone off screen.

"Oh my god Keith, please don't say that Sister James might sister sue." Lance says from behind off-screen.

"Kosmo, come here buddy."  Keith says and seconds later there's a large dog laying in his lap, Lance groans as he finally takes a seat next to the two. The Pit-Husky mix takes this as an invitation to stretch his body over the two.

"You're so lucky you're cute dude we've got to film." The tan boy says scratching his nails against the dogs head who lets out a low whine in response and a little huff. The two chuckle in response showering the puppy in affection.

 

* * *

 

 

Pinned by Lance McClain

Pidge • one month ago  
Can't wait for all the Keith annoying Lance for 12 minutes straight videos

4.2k likes, 140 comments

                      Lance McClain • one month ago  
                      Isn't that all this video is?

 

shyla mckogane • one month ago  
the sheer domesticity of this??? omg two good dads and their good boyyo kosmo  
edit: omg thank you for all the likes dskjfkjsfdhkds

2k likes, 16 comments

 

#1 jungkook anti • three weeks ago  
askjdfsakjf the look on lance's face when keith said "good boy" the praise kink is real

1.7k likes

 

load more comments

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain

New Video Up! Conspiracy Tuesday #13 w/ _@kokogane_ , and guest star best boy Kosmo.  
Responding to comments now!

4:00 PM • Feb 2, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

1.2k Retweets 9.4K Likes

 

 **ana.** @kingmcclain  
_Replying to @LanceMcClain_

pls do videos with with your kiddos, i recently had to say goodbye to my kitty Josie down  
and seeing your furbabies helps so much.

 

                 **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain  
                _replying to @kingmcclain_

                oh baby i'm so sorry to hear that my heart hurts so much i'm sorry that draco  
                and luna weren't in this video today but here's a video i got of them snuggling  
                earlier 💙

 

 **klance is real babey** @laylababey  
_Replying to @LanceMcClain_

we stan a wholesome ass family omg.

 

 **luna mcclain stan** @keefmcclain  
_replying to @LanceMcClain_

oof bare-faced beauty drop your skin care routine leandro i beg

 

                         **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain  
                         _replying to @keefmcclain_

                        oof thank you baby, it was like 4am and i didn't feel like putting my face on.

 

                         **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain  
                         _replying to @keefmcclain_

                        and my skin care routine is just keith's tears tbh.

 

* * *

 

 

Three Years Ago

 

 **This wasn't the way I wanted to tell you...  
** **Uploaded by Lance McClain**

"So the last twenty hours have been," Lance let out a shaky laugh, he's not filming in his usual location, he's leaning against a headboard wearing thin-rimmed glasses and looking extremely exhausted, "pretty fucking crazy and I'm laying in bed with Luna," the camera pans to the fluffy gray cat curled against his side to bring it back to him to finish what he was saying, "and I'm editing and realized that we hadn't filmed an intro."

"I guess so there's just, uhh, not an intro for this, I’m sure you all know what's going on and that's pretty much gonna be what we talk about and I tried not to edit this too much but like I can't just post a two hour long video cause we all know I don't fucking know how to stay on topic, but I promise I left this as real as I possibly could. Uhmmm Yeah, thanks for watching I love you guys.”

The video cuts to Keith and Lance once again sitting in Lance’s old filming room in his old apartment they both obviously look exhausted and upset.

”I’d like to start by saying sorry to everyone who felt like we lied to you about this and we didn’t intend to hurt anyone or make you feel like we had lied to you.” Lance started with a long sigh, “Keith and I are not dating, that is not a lie, we didn’t lie to you. And we’re sorry that you felt that we did. Yes, we had been together for a brief period which is where the photos that have been going around had come from.”

Multiple photos appear on the screen that have been circling reddit threads and twitter of Lance sitting on Keith’s lap with their heads pressed together and Lance’s cat Luna curled in their laps, one with them in a passionate kiss, and another of them laying in bed together both clearly shirtless and giving seductive smirks at the camera.

”Lance and I had met at a party about eight months ago now, and we obviously  hit it off pretty fast.” Keith continued on with the story behind the photos, “But it was super, super short lived. Like we had been talking for like a month or two and then we dated on and off for three months. Like it was very casual and we weren’t like that emotionally invested and mutually decided we were better as friends.”

”Yeah, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Like as bad as it sounds, we weren’t really feeling each other after the like initial honeymoon phase ended. And we were fighting like all the time.” Lance added on to his statement.

”Right, and like over the dumbest shit. It was kinda like we’d just argue just to like have make up sex.” The other retorts, “it was like very unhealthy and our friends kinda told us both it was and we kinda just didn’t listen. And one day we just like finally listened and realized we just weren’t compatible.”

 

* * *

 

 

 **stan loona** @spideymcclains

klance is back together and they're just not saying anything cause they don't want to get our hopes up, conspiracy thread (1/?)

3:21 AM • Jun 13, 2018 • Twitter for Android

2.4k Retweets 11K Likes

 

 **stan loona** @spideymcclains  
_replying to @spideymcclains_

in one of keith's recent videos luna was seen chilling in the background, and looking super adorable might i add (2/?)

 

 **stan loona** @spideymcclains  
_replying to @spideymcclains_

and yes friends can live together or whatever, but why wouldn't they tell us they were moving in together if it wasn't like a big deal (3/?)

 

 **stan loona** @spideymcclains  
_replying to @spideymcclains_

also, they just got a fucking dog together??  he's fukcing cute omg stan Kosmo (4/?)

 

 **stan loona** @spideymcclains  
_replying to @spideymcclains_

i don't know where i was going with this but like did y'all see they looked at eachother, anyway stan loona (5/5)

 

 **Not Mothman** @kokogane  
_replying to @spideymcclains_

hmmm op's an android user and there's hardly any proof conspiracy rating 2/10

  
       **stan loona** @spideymcclains  
       _replying to @kokogane_

      omg keith i'm so skjdsfkjsadfkjas i didn't think you were gonna see this omg.

  
                                     **Not Mothman** @kokogane

                                     _replying to @spideymcclains_

                                    stan loona

 

* * *

 

 

**the Paladin podcast**

 

 **Keith:** Good fucking Morning everyone!

 **Pidge** : Or good afternoon, everyone. Most of the paladins don't always listen as soon as we post.

 **Hunk** : Honestly most paladins just don't listen in general and I don't blame them. Can you imagine listening to Lance for an hour everyday?

 **Lance** : pfft, fuck you i'm a delight.

 **Shiro** : Yes you are

 **Lance** : Thanks daddy

_Keith, Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Matt collectively start groaning and complaining._

**Matt** : God let's just start, what are we even talking about today?

 **Hunk** : Wait, wait, wait, before we even start, Allura? Leandro?

 **Allura** : Yes Hunky Dearest

 **Lance** : Don't call me Leandro I feel like i'm in trouble

 **Shiro** : You are in trouble _Leandro_.

 **Lance** : What're you gonna do-

 **Keith** : Uh-uh, don't finish that fucking sentence, you were saying Hunk?

 **Hunk** : *snickering* Anyway, do you two have anything to say about the beauty guru community?

 **Allura** : As someone in the beauty guru community, I think it's important that we're calling people out for this and like making them take responsibility for their actions and holding them accountable. I won't get into in to it cause we had planned on making a video to talk about it.

 **Lance** : Right, definitely, and I wont get into it cause like Lura said we're doing a video but can I just say that [redacted]'s apology video was absolute bullshit.

 **Matt** : Literal bullshit, I've cried more when stubbing my fucking toe.

 **Shiro:** *chuckles* Same.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **haille <3 **@princessaltxa

omg i can't wait for allura & lance to speak out about this,, drag them pls

2:12 PM • Aug 21, 2018 • Twitter for iPhone

1 Retweets  20 Likes

 

 

 **spider-pidge** @holthollands

eee not to be a klancer but jealous keith is my aesthetic kdsajfsak

2:16 PM • Aug 21, 2018 • Twitter for Android

5 Retweets  40 Likes

 

 

 **shancey baby** @lolabseds

wowow shance is canon bitch, "daddy" omg

10: 20 AM • Aug 21, 2018 • Twitter for iPhone

 

           **gracie 🌻** @shiroclains  
         _replying to @lolabseds_

          bitch the way he said leandro,,, uhhh, my dick is hard.

 

           **freya** @lancemcclaimsthisass

          you guys are gross, anyway klance is canon yeehaw!

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Conspiracy Keith is now live**

 

Once again in the McKogane household we're in the living room the two lounging on a couch with music playing in the background. They both have face masks on, Lance's hair pushed back by a headband and Keith's was in a messy bun atop his head a red bandanna pushing back the hair too short to reach the ponytail. Lance was wearing t-shirts from the Jonas Brothers World Tour 2009 and the chat was quick to notice Keith was wearing Lance's Black Sisters Apparel hoodie.

Lance laughed at his phone reading the influx of comments, "Yes I am wearing a Jo Bros shirt. Yes I did pay with my hard earned cash to go see them live in 2009 fucking fight me, oh shit this is live i can't just fucking bleep that out. Are you reposting this?" He asked Keith was a mischievous smirk.

"Apparently not." The raven haired boy joked back, before saying, "Yeah, I'll just edit it out later."

The two just continues to wait for the viewers to roll in as they idly responded to comments, "My favorite Jonas brother was Nick, like i'm always a slut for curls. My favorite song is either Love Bug or When You Look Me in the Eyes, cause that shit still slaps,  What about you Keith?"

"Uhh, My favorite song was Poison Ivy and I too was a slut for Nick's curls." Came the immediate response, "Wait wasn't there like a fourth Jonas Brother?"

"Did you not watch the Jonas tv show you uncultured swine?" The cubano boy looks at the other completely horrified, "I'm literally disgusted, you're the reason we can't have nice things."

This continued on for fifteen minutes answering fan questions and talking about their days until it was almost time to take the face makes off.

"Are we just gonna take y'all in the bathroom with us to take these off or we just gonna take turns?" Keith asked looking at the other.

Lance smirked and gave a little giggle,"I love it when you say y'all, you're a true country boy."

"Lance you literally say y'all all the time." He gave him an exasperated eye roll as he picked at the edge of the mask.

"But I don't say it how you say it, I’m just gay, you're just like a true Texan bro. "

Whatever Keith's response was it was lost with another voice calling from off screen, "Baby, I'm home, I got Taco Bell!"

"OH FUC-"

 

**the stream has ended  
**

 

* * *

 

shyla mckogane • twenty minutes ago

omg someone pls tell me they got a full recording of klance singing burnin up

 

ana mckogane • twenty minutes ago

sdjfksa hi shy, asdjasf i got it i'll send it to the gc when the stream is over

 

nessa • nineteen minutes ago

asidsaiuv  are we not gonna say anything about keith wearing lance's sisters apparel

 

c a r a • now

B A BY?????!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!

 

small might • now

whomst the fuck was that??? dskjasldkfjsafsa

 

pidge • now

lmao you done fucked up

 

* * *

 

 

 **KLANCE IS CANON KIN** G @vermillance

@LanceMcClain explain!!

9:15 PM • Dec 12, 2018 • Twitter for iPhone

6 Retweets  32 Likes

 

 **keith's knife collection** @keefsknives

no knives in todays videos but one of them probably has a boyfriend\

9:19 PM • Dec 12, 2018 • Twitter for iPhone

1 Retweet  9 Likes

 

 **shyla** 🌼 @smilesmorales

uhhh, am i the only one who thought that sounded like shiro?

9:15 PM • Dec 12, 2018 • Twitter for iPhone

28 Retweets  172 Likes

  
            **ana.** @kingmcclain  
           r _eplying to @smilesmorales_

           bye that's exactly what i thought omg asdlkjfsalfdsa

  
           **gracie 🌻** @shiroclains  
           _replying to @smilesmorales_

         

 

* * *

 

 

 

Two Years Ago

 

 **Chopped | Voltron Squad Edition  
** **Uploaded by Hunk's Kitchen**

"Welcome back everyone to another episode of Hunk's kitchen," Hunk starts his videos the same way he always does, with a big smile on his face and a small wave, "Today we're not actually in _my_ kitchen. I talked with a good friend of mine, and one of my old Professor's when I was actually in culinary school, Coran. Come on out and say hi Coran."

A middle-aged man with ginger hair and a thick handlebar mustache joins him on screen "Hi Coran."

There's a snicker off screen followed by someone saying "shut up that's not funny." and another retorting that it's a little funny.

"Today Coran has graciously allowed us to use his classroom to make this video so thank you Coran. And thank you for being a judge today." The video cuts to a shot of Coran sitting at their makeshift judges panel giving the camera a smile, "Thank you to Shiro who will also be a judge today," A shot of Shiro sitting next to Coran with an overlay of white drawn on hearts and the caption 'wow so dreamy', "and since i'm uhh, the only decent chef in this group I thought it wouldn't be face for me to be apart of the competition so I will be the third judge this episode. Now introducing your host, Shay~"

They all cheered as Hunk's girlfriend appeared on screen standing in the center of frame, "Hello everyone, and welcome to the first and only episode of Chopped : Voltron Squad Edition." Shay gave the camera a smile, "Let's meet our contestants."

The scene cuts to Shay standing behind a chef's station standing next to Allura, "First we have Allura, the prettiest Paladin of them all, Allura how're you feeling today and tell us a little bit about your cooking skills," she says with a grin as the older girl ties a pink cupcake patterned apron on, a soft whine from Matt Holt could be heard from off screen that he had wanted that one.

"Well, Shay, I'm feeling confident that I am the best chef of today's contestants, like if we were going against Hunk or Shiro even, I'd be a little afraid, but I think I got this in the bag," As soon as she finishes speaking the scene cuts to Allura spooning what she believed to be sugar into her desert, afterwards taste testing, "F**k that was f**king salt, I don't have the f**king time to start this over J**** F****** C****"

 

* * *

 

 

karkat memes •  two years ago

i need a compilation of shiro roasting keith by yesterday

 

daddy 707 • two years ago

lance's smile was so cute when shiro complimented his food omg

 

laith • two weeks ago

who's watching in 2019

 

smash the rock johnson • two weeks ago

hunk it's been years pls do another one of these omg.

 

load more comments 

* * *

 

 

 **shyla** 🌼 @smilesmorales

@LanceMcClain who is your secret bf?????

3:29 AM • Jan 12th, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

28 Retweets  172 Likes

  
                   **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain  
                   _replying to @smilesmorales_

                  Batman.

                   **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain  
                   _replying to @smilesmorales_

                  Fuck I meant Bruce Wayne.

                   **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain  
                   _replying to @smilesmorales_

                  I have no relation to Batman,

                  nor does bruce.

                   **kenna** @mmmckenna  
                   _replying to @smilesmorales and @LanceMcClain_

                  who's your favorite robin?

  
                                         **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain  
                                         _replying to @mmmckenna_

                                        Tim Drake is the only valid response to that question,  
                                        thank u, next.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Roommate Asks Me Questions in a Lie Detector |  W/ Keith  
** **Uploaded by Lance McClain**

"Hey all you beautiful people, and welcome back to my channel!" Lance says his intro with a big smile and a wave of his hands, his nails painted a soft shade of blue matching the custom made baby blue hoodie that read paladins on the front he's got a full face of semi-glam make-up and the familiar tattoos that all his subscribers were accustomed to on his fingers along with three gold rings show as he turns his hands as he speaks, "And if you're new, Hi, Hello, my name is Lance and welcome to the Shit Show."

"Today Keith and I are going to the lie detector guy that you see in virtually every video on youtube ever, cause uhh need that mainstream clout, in his video we will be getting to the bottom of things about all things conspiracy and finding out if he's actually Mothman or not. And so go ahead and check that link in the description below." As he pointed down the familiar small crescent moon on the back of his hand became visible.

 

 

 

"Alright, are we just gonna hop right into like serious stuff or like some fluff questions first Leandro?" Keith asks later on into the video after they've gone over everything with the guy and Lance is all hooked up.

"Stop calling me Leandro, it makes me nervous,"

Keith cuts him off, "You should be."

"Uhn, I guess just go for it."

"Ok," He pulls out his phone to read the questions he wrote himself and got from the group chat, "First question, have you ever had sex while I was in the room?"

Lance pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, "Define sex."

"Like have you ever gotten off while I was in the room, besides our brief stint?"

"No." Lance answers automatically, Keith looks at the dude expectantly who eventually answers with, "That's a lie."

Lance nervously laughs and says "oops, gonna have to cut this from the video later." - he didn't.

 

* * *

 

 

we had a bonding moment • two weeks ago  
omg lance's new tattoo!!!!!!

edit: did y'all notice that (shiro? maybe) had a  
matching tattoo when he reached on screen **10:20**

121 likes, 18 comments

 

stan txt • three days ago

are we not gonna talk about the fact that  
lance literally just confessed to having sex  
while keith was in the room because i just lost  
my damn mind omg. 

  
80 likes, 12 comments

 

eatassenpai• two weeks ago

like if you're here from keith's video  
2.3k likes

 

* * *

 

 

 **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain

I'm happy and in love and that's all the  
fucking tea that there is. omg chill y'all

2:14 AM • Mar 7, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

20.5k Retweets 94.1K Likes

 

 **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain

and i might be drunk but like whatever

2:14 AM • Mar 7, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

9k Retweets 70K Likes

 

 **klance is real babey**  @laylababey  
_Replying to @LanceMcClain_

klance fucking lives bitch!

 

                         **Lance McClain**  @LanceMcClain  
                         _replying to @laylababey_

                        lmao no fucking thanks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh come talk to me on tumblr cause i'm desperate need of friends thanks [@wlwallywest](http://www.wlwallywest.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))) sorry for taking so long to post this, i had the chapter completely finished two days ago and then closed the tab without saving and was too pissed to comeback and rewrite it.
> 
> again not edited cause i'm too impatient for that and i don't have friends to beta my works :) 
> 
> be my friend if y'all want to & hit me up on tumblr  
> i talk about batman a lot. [@wlwallywest](http://www.wlwallywest.tumblr.com)

**My Friends Expose Me for Views**  
**Posted by Lance McClain**

 

"Hey all you beautiful people, and welcome back to my channel !" The video starts in the Lance McClain branded filming room, he's sitting in the center of his group of close friends, from left to right, Pidge, Keith, Shiro, Lance himself, Hunk, Allura, then Matt, otherwise known as the paladins. Lance gives them a smile before finishing his intro off as Pidge sarcastically mouths the words out of his line of site, "And if you're new, Hi, Hello, my name is Lance, and-" he's cut off by his friends all chiming in "welcome to the shit show!"

"So if I'm gonna be honest we were all hanging out here last night, and uhh playing board games, y'know like the good catholic children we are," Lance says as inserted clips of them all downing shots and drinking straight from the bottles appear on screen, "And as I was kicking Pidge's ass at Mario Kart," another clip of Lance clearly losing and and swearing aggressively in Spanish at the 'tiny devil spawn' , "I got the brilliant idea, that we would all expose each other. And stop right there, I don't literally mean expose, ok, although, someone told me that they make quite a bit of money making cam videos so like, if y'all see me on pornhub, mind your own business."

"If they mind their own business, how're you gonna get views?" Pidge retorts with a snort, which causes a huge discussion that Lance probably should've edited out but left in for the viewer to get a look into the actual dynamic between he and his friends

Shiro snickers and hides his face behind Lance's shoulder but his shoulders are clearly shaking from laughter as Lance, Pidge, Allura, and Matt argue what his camming demographic would be, Keith and Hunk both give each other knowing looks in a silent conversation, only making commentary to further push the argument, this goes on for a while before Shiro finally regains composure, "The point, Lance," one of them has to be the adult and they all usually leave that responsibility to Shiro.

"Right, yes, the point is, that my friends are gonna take turns exposing embarrassing things about me, I wanted to also expose them, but they said, and i quote verbatim, Lonce that's a fucking idiotic idea and you'll lose lots of subscribers. So now I'm kinda just doing this outta spite."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Pinned by Lance McClain

number five • one week ago  
like if you were here before Lance ruined  
his chances of ever getting sponsors again

3.2k likes, 20 comments

 

                        Lance McClain • one week ago  
                        maybe pornhub will sponsor me

 

all panic no disco • one week ago  
lance: has his arm around shiro  
klancers: omg keith & lance were holding hands behind shiros back  
me: ???????

1.2k likes, 80 comments

 

milky mae • three weeks ago  
ok so, i know this was like a joke  
but i really did work in camming  
and you literally make a lot more  
money than you would think  
but it also depends on your age  
how much you time you put into it  
and working with what works best for  
you and finding a good balance between  
what you like and what your viewers like  
\----- read more ---------

121 likes • ❤️ by Lance McClain

 

load more comments

 

* * *

 

 

 **Lance McClain** @LanceMcClain

New Video Up! I ruin my entire youtube career! :)

4:00 PM • Mar 4 , 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 **kenz** ❀ @kenzielee  
_Replying to @LanceMcClain_

rip lance's youtube career it will be missed

 

 **b** ⚢ @dearlancehansen  
_Replying to @LanceMcClain_

okk but for real i would tip you the  
most-est for them cam shows.

 

l **una mcclain stan** @keefmcclain  
_replying to @LanceMcClain_

you and shiro dating or nah???

 

 **BOYCOTT 7RINGS** @lancegrandes  
                    _replying to @keefmcclain_

                    ewww no he's clearly dating keith

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 **shyla** 🌼 @smilesmorales

lance : drunk tweets about being in a happy healthy relationship  
y'all: omg klance lives !  
lance: lmao no we're not together  
y'all : omg klance are holding hands in lance's newest video even tho-

  
4:22 PM • Mar 4, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

120 Retweets 1.2k Likes

 

 **shyla** 🌼 @smilesmorales  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

Also Shance in this new video omg aslkjdfsalkjdf

 

 

* * *

 

 

**the Paladin podcast**

 

 **Keith** : Good fucking Morning everyone!

 **Hunk:** Hi, Hello!

 **Matt:** How come Keith always gets to do the introduction?

 **Keith** : Because my mom said so.

 **Matt** : Well, yeah, can't argue with that.

 **Allura** : Krolia, could, and would, kick your skinny white ass Matthew.

 **Matt** : Again, cannot argue.

 **Lance** : *laughs* Are we really not gonna say anything about the fact that he like, just made his own version of a John Mulaney quote.

 **Shiro:** Why're looking at me like I'm supposed to get this?

 **Lance** : We were literally watching it last night.

 **Shiro** : Lance, do you really think I was paying any attention at all?

 **Hunk** : *snickers* Anyway, the quote Lance was referencing was "My mommy so shut the fuck up!"

 **Pidge** : If you guys could explain yourself as one John Mulaney quote, what would it be? I'll start, and then like go around to Matt?

 **Pidge** : I'm very small and have no money, you can imagine the kind of stress i'm under.

 **Hunk** : Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you.

 **Keith** : I mean I guess, my mommy so shut the fuck up since i just said that

 **Allura** : *snorts* You're also like "do my friends hate me or do i just need to sleep?"

 **Allura** : Any quote John Mulaney has said about loving his wife is me.

 **Allura** : My wife is a bitch and I love her.

 **Lance** : Keith is also "Y'know how i'm filled with rage, I'm so horny and angry all the time and I have no outlet-"

 **Keith** : is this just a session of roast Keith?

 **Hunk** : We love you but you're a mess.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **ana.** @kingmcclain

  
since y'all were talking about john mulaney, i really want  
keith to do a conspiracy on if he murdered princess diana  
@kokogane

2:22 PM • Feb 20, 2019 • Twitter for WebClient

  
                **gracie** 🌻 @shiroclains  
                _replying to @kingmcclain_

               @kokogane @kokogane @kokogane

 

              **klance is real babey** @laylababey  
              _replying to @kingmcclain_

              @kokogane !!!! pls do it

 

              **Allura** @princessallura  
              _replying to @kingmcclain_

              @kokogane do it!

 

 **shancey baby** @lolabseds

uhhhhhh, am i the only one who thought that the  
way shiro said he wasn't paying attention sliiiightly sexual  
no just me? ok, i'll see my way out.  
10: 28 AM • Feb 20, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 _anonymous asked : sorry to bother but i saw that you think that lance and shiro are_  
_together and i was just wondering why, you don't have to answer if you don't want to 💙_

 **teafaerie** : first of all, thank you for being the nicest of _all_ the anons in my ask box hence  
why i replied to your ask instead of others, take notes all you klancers being rude.

first off, i think they've been together for awhile, but lance has always been private about  
his relationships. especially after that whole fisaco where a bunch of "fans" invaded his privacy  
and posted pictures of him and his ex, and his ex (who i won't name for privacy reasons) was  
forced to come out to his family since his little sister had a friend who was part of lance's small  
following back then.

and i think he'd keep this relationship quieter, even more-so because of a) y'all are aggressive as fuck  
about shipping him and lance. even after that had publicly stated that they aren't compatible and are  
toxic for each other in a romantic relationship, but chose to remain friends. because they have a lot of  
common friends and shit. and b) because shiro is keith's brother it's probably like weird for him to have  
to tell a bunch of teenage girls who haven't accepted the fact that they broke up over three years ago,  
that he's in a healthy happy commited relationship with his brother would loose their fucking minds. and  
c) it's not really anyone's business but their own, they're adults, let them live their lives.

now that i've got that disclaimer, why i think they're together and my "proof":

  * shiro is always there, like always, every single video you see where lance is smiling at something off screen,  
it's normally shiro. and i know y'all klancers like to say that it's keith, but in multiple of Allura's vlogs you can  
see shiro sitting on the chaise with Luna while Lance is filming.
  * one time he was literally napping with Luna and Lance had the most precious look on his face, i wanted to cry.
  * also to that point, when lance is vlogging out and about, or doing off site filming 9/10 Shiro is holding the  
camera, and ik a lot of y'all are just gonna be like, he's just lance's cameraman, and if he was why wouldn't lance  
credit him? because literally everytime lance has a cameraman, that isn't shiro he's like "also hunk, is coming along  
with us today, show the people your beautiful face hunky-poo."
  * i don't have a link for it now, but someone reposted a video allura had deleted, about a year and half ago, but like  
apparently at one point in the video you can hear lance laughing and squealing "omg baby stop!" and "shiro!" which  
like it's v quiet, like quiet enough allura didn't notice when she posted, but like she obviously did to have taken it down  
and if that isn't solid proof enough to y'all then idk what is. 
  * the matching tattoos !!!!! pics here and here from lance's & keith's instagrams.
  * how they fucking bicker, in literally every podcast they are in, like ever? like have you literally heard the way you talk  
to each other, they literally go between bickering like an old married couple to make awkward sex jokes like your two  
friends that you're waiting for to solve their UST.
  * they had matching halloween costumes last year, i mean the gang all went together but like they had a couple costume  
out of the squad. (also no fucking offense, but lance as catwoman was hands down the hottest thing i've seen in my life  
jesus fucking christ)
  * notice how he pointedly has never said a single fucking thing about all the comments about shance, but has on  
multiple occasions called out klancers.



feel free to add if y'all want 

 **keithactuallyismothman reblogged** : 

to a d d 

  * first the link to the video teafaerie mentioned is here
  * they literally live together, and ik y'all always state that as evidence for klance, but if y'all can use it as proof, so can i
  * they literally got draco together, like in lance's vlog where he went to the shelter to get him, shiro was there the whole  
time. and like that was sooo wholesome, they literally sat there and cooed at him and talked about him joining their   
little family i'm literally in my emotions ok. 
  * lance and shiro are cuddling in lance's video from last week, and yes lance is a touchy feely person, but i don't really  
get that vibe from shiro, with like someone he's not dating. and that one part where shiro is literally hiding behind   
lance's shoulder and he's not fazed in the slightest, he just gives him a soft ass smile and goes back to arguing with   
their friends. 
  * lance sitting on shiro's lap in the background in matt's insta story that he immediately deleted but _teamholt_  got   
screenshots of. 
  * the drunk tweets about being happy and in love + shiro and lance saying they spent the night together weeks before  
the drunk tweets ?? like y'all all these dots are adding up. 



**spookykoganes reblogged:**  

 

 **klancehunny reblogged** :

me watching all y'all get your hopes up:

 

 **keithactuallyismothman reblogged**  : 

golden coming from a klancer when   
they both have fucking said their   
relationship is over and never coming  
back, imagine which of us is being  
delusional. 

_351 notes_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Lance McClain**  @LanceMcClain

might be high, but i think I just got enraged. 

6:30 PM • Mar 10, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 **Lance McClain**  @LanceMcClain

fuck, meant engaged. 

6:31 PM • Mar 10, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 

\--- THESE TWEETS HAVE BEEN DELETED ------

 

 

 

 **Lance McClain**  @LanceMcClain

New video has been posted today, and there  
will be a new one tomorrow as well. comments  
have been turned off for the time being. 

love you guys. 🖤

4:31 PM • Mar 11, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

* * *

 

 **My Relationship As Seen Through Bloopers**  
**Posted By Lance McClain**

 

There's no intro for this video it starts with Lance laughing loudly, gripping his chest as laughter rakes through his body as he leans against Shiro who's holding a frazzled small kitty, the russian blue recognizable as little Luna.

"Leandro you're scaring our daughter, she's gonna run away" Shiro says with laughter in his voice but doesn't make any move to push the other away. 

 

"Our daughter!" He shouts back, sounding playfully appalled, "When did you get custody of my baby?" 

"Uhh, You're my baby, so i'm her daddy too." 

Lance audibly chokes on air, his tan skin getting a red tint to it, "I really think you just like calling yourself daddy." 

 

The scene cuts to a different clip, Lance and Shiro in their car, Lance singing along to Frank Ocean's chanel playing through the speakers. 

Lance sings along as Shiro drives, " _Dick cold roll the eyes back in the skull, rolling when you ride po-_. " 

"Add this to our sex playlist." 

"Christ, now i'm gonna have to fucking cut this. I sounded amazing." 

"Is that a no?" 

 

The scene changes again to Lance sitting in front of his camera in the filming room again by himself, his eyes squinted and lower lip pulled between his teeth, before he pops his lips together and declaring "I completely forgot what I was talking about." 

There's a soft laugh in the background, "Yeah, you always do." 

"Uh, rude. I have, never, in my life, ever, up until this very moment, forgotten what I was saying Takashi." 

" I love you," Shiro responds, and Lance lets out a loud squeal.

"That's cheating!!!!" 

 

* * *

 

 

comments have been disabled for this video. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhmm if y'all are wondering what the groups costumes were, they were all dc heros:  
> Lance - Catwoman  
> Shiro - Batman  
> Hunk - Cyborg  
> Matt - Captain Atom  
> Pidge - Impulse  
> Allura - Starfire  
> Keith - Red Hood


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, i've been busy as hell  
> anyway, thanks for 300 hits & 50 kudos!  
> jdfhslkjaf i really didn't think anyone was gonna read this absolute piece of trash.

**r/BeautyGuruChatter  
** **u/lunarklance**

 

Lance McClain is cancelled, he’s problematic as fuck and just queerbaited all of his fans for years.

 

183 Comments

 

 

Anonymous534435

have you ever read something so dumb in your life   
that you actually lost brain cells? cause can confirm  
that that can happen. 

 

RandomUserNameThatImTooLazyToComeUpWith

why the fuck is lance still in the beautyguru section,   
he literally never posts beauty stuff. like y'all know how  
simplynailogical used to post nail art, yeah that's lance  
with any beauty content. 

 

KlanceIsCanonKing

big agree that he's problematic as hell but he wasn't queerbaiting  
bad word choice op he's queer and engaged to a man. but also   
how fucking gross is it that he's engaged to his ex's brother.   
that's so fucked up. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales

next klancer to say lance was queerbaiting them  
better be prepared for me to rip all of their teeth  
out in a Taco Bell parking lot.

  
9:29 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

2.1k Retweets 11k Likes

 

 **  
** **protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

 

like there’s so many things wrong with that I  
don’t even know where to start, like first of all,  
NO. He wasn’t fucking queerbaiting, he is  
queer bitch.

  
9:29 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 

 **protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

 

he’s whole ass engaged to another man, idk  
how that’s even remotely close to queerbaiting  
what the fuck, y’all love to reach omg.

 

9:30 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 

 **protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

 

second of all, he has  on so many fucking occasions  
said he wasn’t with Keith, like y’all motherfuckers  
even invaded his fucking privacy and brought up  
pictures of when-

  
9:31 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 

  
**protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

 

they were briefly together and they clearly didn’t  
want to talk about it, and it even strained their  
fucking friendship for awhile because of y’all being  
up their asses.

 

9:31 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 **protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

 

thirdly, he’s so fucking happy and in love, did  
you see how fucking happy he looked with Shiro, l  
ike even when he was feeling uncomfortable, which-

  
9:32 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 **protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

 

you could tell he was feeling uncomfortable, because of how  
damn rambly he's is in the video and Shiro was quick to help  
him feel comfortable again, like they’re so in love I’m in love  
with it ok.

  
9:33 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 **protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

 

ugh if you really wanna call yourself his stan, you’d just  
want him to be happy at the end of the day and he is, and  
he’s getting married and y’all can’t stop that

  
9:34 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 **protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

 

so I repeat fuck all of y’all that are shitting on him right now,  
send fucking tweet.

  
9:36 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 **protect lance mcclain** @princessallura  
_replying to @smilesmorales_

 

you’re the only bitch I respect in this town.

  
9:40 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 **protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales  
_replying to @princessallura_

 

jdksksksks omg mom. I love you.

  
9:41 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

Lance McClain @LanceMcClain   
_replying to @smilesmorales_

Hi yes, I love you and all you're doing for me  
and my fandom/brand let's be friends and  
have a sleepover. but uhh, just one question,  
why specifically taco bell? 

9:45 PM • Mar 13, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

* * *

 

**spideyholts :**

listen the fuck up losers! if i see any of y'all, like any of y'all at all  
or in anyway being mean to lance about this i'm gonna square up

like i will publicly ridicule you over all social medias, ok, like i'll  
tell ya great grandmama that you're a piece of shit on facebook  
and let all your friends on twitter and insta know what type of  
trash you are, that's fucking all folks  
  
fuck blue lives, shance are engaged! 

 

 **starboylance reblogged** : 

 

not but for fucking real don't make him feel bad about this   
because he probably already feels bad enough about keeping  
it from us, and if y'all make him feel like shit for sharing personal  
things he's not gonna share more and it'll become a cycle of him not  
telling us things because he doesn't want to be treated like that and  
y'all treating him like shit for "hiding" things from us and him finally  
telling us and y'all being pressed again over him "hiding things" for  
so long, y'all see where i'm going with this? 

  
so just don't. i'd personally love for him to feel conformable sharing   
these type of things with us again because he looks so fucking  
happy with shiro and they deserve it. 

 

 **pidge-is-my-favorite-pokemon reblogged** :

 _" **if y'all make him feel like shit for sharing personal**_  
_**things he's not gonna share more and it'll become a cycle of him not**_  
_**telling us things because he doesn't want to be treated like that and**_  
_**y'all treating him like shit for "hiding" things from us and him finally**_  
_**telling us and y'all being pressed again over him "hiding things" for**_  
_**so long** "_

but also, i love how they emphasized "hiding" things because really  
it's not our business and lance doesn't have to share shit with us   
if he doesn't want to and i personally love it when he wants to so   
don't ruin this for the rest of us.

 **teafaerie reblogged** : 

 

 

#stay scared klancers   # i will end y'all #y'all shouldn't feel safe to say shit like that

_1,264 notes_

 

* * *

 

_Matt Holt retweeted_

**pidgeon king** @hot4holts

i only learned two things from this video  
1\. shance are adorable as fuck & they have a cute ass pet family  
2\. the real reason klance broke up is because they're both bottoms

8:41 PM • Mar 12, 2018 • Twitter for WebClient

11.2k Retweets 24.3K Likes

 

 **Matt Holt** @MattyHolt  
_responding to @hot4holts_

i sent this to the gc and we're all   
crying thank you for this so much.   
( SEE ATTACHED IMAGE ) 

 8:48 PM • Mar 12, 2018 • Twitter for iPhone

 

* * *

 

 

**Get To Know my Fiancé!**

**Posted by Lance McClain**

 

“This video is literally gonna be like 40 minutes long because neither of us is capable of staying on topic.” Lance says with a sigh, a small blue-eyed black ragdoll kitten laid out in his arms purring, loudly, “And Draco isn’t gonna let me put him down. I’m sure he’s gonna fall asleep like this, so yeah, that’s how this video is going!”

 

He gives the camera a pained smile as Shiro snickers from his side but makes no move to help him, he eventually reaches out and pets the cat instead.

 

“You can just add time stamps in the description for certain topics, or like a pinned comment.” His boyfriend, no fiancé says, which isn’t a bad idea at all.

 

“Knew I kept you around for some reason ‘kashi.”

 

↬

 

“Wild how I said I wasn’t gonna fucking swear in this so it wouldn’t get demonetized because this is gonna be long as hell but I forgot about it. Uhhh, shout out to today’s sponsor, uh, babe who’s today’s sponsor?”

 

“This video is sponsored by Audible, use Code James for 30% off your first purchase.”

 

“What the fuck-” Lance says with a choked off laugh, “Takashi _no_.”

 

↬

 

“Look I’m gonna be honest, I may have spent the last hour getting high and playing video games with Keith. Because like it’s my first day off in like fucking forever, y’know like what else would I be doing on my day off.”

 

“Did you just expose Keith?”

 

“Babe they all follow him, would half of the shit that comes out of his mouth come out of his mouth if he wasn’t a stoner?  Like 80% of conspiracies sound like they came straight off of a high thoughts twitter account.”

 

↬

 

“Anyway, so Keith’s like kicking my ass at Injustice 2 because he’s a fucking beast with Kori-”

 

“I don’t really think that’s relevant to us getting engaged,”

 

“Uh, this is my story, let me tell it. Which of us makes their living off of storytimes?”

 

“Your mom literally thinks I’m your sugar daddy, think about that.”

 

“God, I really need me a rich man though, anyone looking for a potential sugar baby call me.”

 

“I genuinely don’t think anyone could afford you, and I’d have to like fight some old guy who can barely get it up and I’d feel bad about it.”

 

“We can share his money if he leaves it to me in the will.”

 

↬

 

“Right, I told y’all we don’t stay on topic, so back to us getting engaged! So I’m like gross and grubby and my skins like oily as shit cause it’s a depression lazy day cause it’s my day off. Like my nails weren’t even done. Which like fuck you, I had to go do my nails before I could even send anyone pictures you absolute ass, do you know nothing of timing?”

 

“You weren’t expecting it though?”

 

“No…”

 

“Then it was perfect timing.” His _fiancé_ says with a big smile and Lance gives him the softest look his fans ever seen to date.

 

"Babe that's really cute but you weren't even expecting it either." 

 

↬

 

“Right, so I’m looking a right mess, and Shiro literally just comes home with Pizza cause when one of us is on cheat day the whole house is on cheat day.”

 

“Leandro you are always on cheat day, you’re the most unhealthy person I have ev-”

 

“La la la la la la! Baby shut up I don’t need you to expose me like that!”

 

↬

 

“Finally getting to the point of this long ass story, that wasn’t really long at all, we just can’t stay on point. In the most unromantic, yet oddly very endearing way, Takashi Shirogane proposed to me over pizza. Just like fucking blurting it out, out of nowhere. Like without even thinking about it, he was just like ‘Marry me’ and Keith starts choking on his drink and I’m like fucking tearing up, like excuse you, he didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?”

 

“That is literally Eminem lyrics, I-” Shiro says with a snort, probably diverting them for the tenth time, they’re never finishing this video.

 

“Anyway! Before we get off topic, _again_ , Shiro seems to finally realize what he said after Keith finally stops choking and is like looking at us like this is the best reality tv show he’s ever seen in his life, and is like,” Lance lowers his vice in a _very_ bad imitation “Lance he just asked you to marry him.”

 

“Why does Keith sound like Lord Farquaad?”

 

“Why do you sound like Lord Farquaad Bitch.”

 

↬

 

“This video is never gonna end. We’ve been filming for 15 minutes and haven’t even gotten past us getting engaged, we should’ve invited someone over to make sure we stay on track.”

 

“Maybe we like finish this part and call Pidge and Hunk?”

 

“I mean aren’t we gonna like talk about stuff that you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about in front of him- actually who am I kidding we have no semblance of boundaries in this friend group. So, where was I?”

 

“You we’re doing an impersonation of Lord Farquaad as Keith.”

 

He shoots his significant other a glare before continuing with the “So Keith, reiterates that he had just proposed to me and that’s when Takashi fucking panics. I’m talking like he looks like his mom just found him with his dick inside a -”

 

“Don’t fucking finish that sentence.”

 

“Watermelon”

 

“Jesus fucking - Leandro!”

 

↬

 

“So he’s panicking and he literally gets up and leaves the room, and I’m looking at Keith like what the actual fuck just happened, meanwhile Shiro’s getting an engagement ring out of wherever he hid it and I’m halfway ready to get my ass up and see if he’s okay. And he comes running back in, and then literally trips over Kosmo-” and this time, it’s Lance who cuts himself off, “and no before you guys ask or try making this a thing that it’s not, no we weren’t smoking while our pets were in the room, and please do not that, that is very no bueno.”

 

A caption appears on screen that reads _‘Pet Care tips with Lance_.’

 

↬

 

“I’m glad people get to see the true chaotic mess you are when you’re not too busy being everyone’s father.”

 

↬

 

“So, in complete honesty, Is it weird to you,” Lance asked slowly, drawing out every word in anticipation, “That I’ve had sex with you brother?”

 

“I mean, at first, yes it was weird,” Shiro responded honestly, and Lance didn’t react visibly like he’d knew that that would be his future husband's response, like they had this conversation before, they probably did, “But, after awhile it kind of just became like a thing, it was just apart of your past and I accepted that, and in like terms of people you’ve slept with, Keith is hardly the weirdest.”

 

Lance immediately gave a mildly annoyed look to the camera, “I’m sorry to any of my ex’s who are watching this, he’s joking, don’t worry you guys are amazing.”

 

“Just the guys were amazing?”

 

“Hnng, it was a gender neutral you guys Shiro, I’m from New York I say you guys.”

 

“Pecan or Pecan?”

 

There’s a playful look of fury on his face, he gives the other a glare before declaring that they’re not doing that again and moving on to the other Keith related topics.

 

↬

 

"Do you guys want to have kids? and if so how many kids do you want to have? and would you adopt or do surrogacy?" Shiro says reading the question off of Lance's phone, who is now sitting in his lap brushing his fingernails against the base of his skull. Shiro lets out a small hum, either from the sensation or thinking over the answer. 

"Yes." Lance answers in short, "We want to have kids, I'm from a large family so I want to have a lot of kids, and we'd probably adopt because a) i love children and there’s so many teenagers and older children that don’t get adopted and we’re both very passionate about that. Also Shiro was adopted so he’s always wanted to adopt too. And I dunno we’ll probably have a surrogate too. At the end of the day we just want like a big family, We'd probably like ask Allura to be the surrogate or a different close friend. Maybe Pidge but like, that doesn't seem like her cup of tea. Like I genuinely think Pidge would literally do anything else besides being pregnant." 

Shiro lets out a choked laugh,"Could you imagine Katie pregnant? That just doesn't seem right at all."

"Cause gremlins are ace and spawn by getting wet. So scientifically speaking it's actually impossible for he to become pregnant. Remember guys, she's not allowed water or being fed after midnight." 

 "She's gonna murder you one day and it will wholeheartedly be your fault." He says with a long sigh, running his hand through Lance's hair. 

↬

 

 

"Are you going to vlog the wedding?" Lance stares at the camera with a blank expression before quickly saying no, that maybe he'd do a little wedding prep stuff but ultimately no it's a day for them and he doesn't want to stress over getting footage. Maybe he'd let a friend get a couple shots and make a video after they had been married and talk about the experience. 

 

↬

 

"Should we read conspiracy theories about our relationship cause I feel like that would be fun?" Lance asks looking at Shiro as he scrolls through his phone, Draco now once again laying on top of him chewing and swatting at the straps of his hoodie. "Or should we save that for another video?"

"Probably save it for another video this is probably gonna be almost an hour long." Shiro responds 

"If Keith can make 2 hour long conspiracy theory videos I can talk about my fiance for an hour, fuck you very much." 

Shiro pinches the bridge of the nose and lets out a heavy sigh, "Anyway thanks for watching everyone, Lance will be back next week with his regularly scheduled content."

"Also if any of y'all leave mean comments they're getting deleted, because my mom will cry and I'll have to fight you so don't be mean." Lance closes with an awkward peace sign and Shiro snorts and Luna dives into frame from the cat tower off camera jumping directly onto Shiro's head. "Yup, great, this is the perfect place to end with my chaotic ass family." 

The screen cuts to black just as Draco starts hissing at Luna. 

 

* * *

 

Pinned by Lance McClain  
  
Lance McClain • two days ago

 **01:20** \- engagement and how in the fuck that happened

 **06:40** \- how we met

 **08:05** \- general dating stuff

 **12:00** \- answering questions I’d assume y’all would’ve asked

 **16:30** \- Answering Questions Y’all did ask on twitter

 **20:00** \-  Keith

 **24:35** \- Wedding Plans / Dreams

 **32:30** \- whatever the fuck this video devolved into being.

 

Lola Beseda • two days ago

hi they’re the cutest couple to exist and fuck everyone who thinks otherwise.

 

                              Keith Kogane • fifty minutes ago  
                              yeah you don’t have to live with them though.

                              Lance McClain • forty minutes ago  
                              feel free to move out then bitch.

 

alessia • three hours ago

i have literally in my life never seen a single one of your videos but this just  
popped up in my suggested and can i say you and your fiance are the cutest  
couple i've seen ever, i'm emo, i want love like that :")))))))

 

nenois • two days ago

rip all klancers. y'all had a long run.

 

leah mcclain • two days ago

like if you knew they were together the whole time. 

load more comments

 

* * *

 

_Lance McClain retweeted_

**protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales

god i can't wait for the fiance does my makeup  
challenge, we all know shiro does a better  
wing than lance could ever dream of. 

  
9:29 PM • Mar 14, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

_Lance McClain retweeted_

**klance is canon king** @kicklance

shance: *anounces engagement*   
me: alexa play Pete Davidson

9:32 PM • Mar 14, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 **Lance McClain**  @LanceMcClain  
_responding to @kicklance_

                       ik you're trying to like insult me and shit and   
                       like say my engagement won't last and that'll  
                       i get back together with keith or smth but i'm  
                       fucking yodeling that's the funniest thing i've  
                       read today. 

 

 **Lance McClain**  @LanceMcClain

universe must have my back, fell from the sky  
& into my lap. and i know, you know that you  
my soulmate and all that. 

9:34 PM • Mar 14, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 

 **Lance McClain**  @LanceMcClain

my whole life got me ready for you. 

9:35 PM • Mar 14, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 **Lance McClain**  @LanceMcClain

fuck all of y'all & pete davidson i'm happy.  
alexa play i don't care by ariana grande 

9:36 PM • Mar 14, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 _Lance McClain retweeted_  

 **Veronica McClain** @VeronicaMcClain

I just want you all to know that Lance wasn't  
joking, ma literally thinks he's shiro's sugar baby.

12:38 AM • Mar 14, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 

* * *

 

 

The Paladin Podcast

 

 **Hunk:** _AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!_

 **Keith** : Rest in Peace headphone users. 

 **Matt:** Wow. I think-

 **Allura:** *giggles* i'm sorry it's just you're literally incapable of saying wow without sounding like Owen Wilson

 **Pidge** : *in best owen wilson attempt* Wow.

 **Matt** : Ok, as I was saying, that's the first time Keith didn't start the podcast. So good job Hunk. 

 **Group** : * Claps for Hunk* 

 **Keith** : Hunk earned it, He's been holding that in all day. 

 **Hunk** : Sorry guys, I'm just really happy for Lance and Shiro and I'm gonna cry. 

 **Lance** : Hunk buddy, you say that like you haven't cried already. 

 **Pidge:** Can confirm that Hunk has cried.

 **Hunk** : I'm sorry, I'm emotional.

 **Hunk** : *tearing up* I'm just so happy that my best friend is happy and he's gonna get married and I just love you guys so much. 

 **Lance** : *also tearing up* No, don't say that cause then I'm gonna cry and we're all just gonna be a big mess of tears. 

 **Shiro:** Fun idea, we do the podcast and none of us cry? 

 **Pidge** : Hmm, I don't know Shiro, I could probably sell a video of Lance crying to weird fans. 

 **Lance:** If anyone is selling anything of me, it better be a sex-tape and I expect a tv show afterwards.

 **Hunk** : And just like that, the moment is gone. 

 **Keith:** Lance ruins lots of moments, it's what he does. 

 **Lance:** You hugging me while I had a concussion isn't a bonding moment if I don't remember it, let it fucking go. 

 **Shiro & Matt** : We had a bonding moment!

 **Pidge & Allura**: I cradled you in my arms. 

 **Lance** : *long groan* 

 **Keith** : *laughing*

 **Lance** : Can we please go back to the fact that I'm engaged, cause like, I would much rather talk about that?

 **Allura:** Have you told your mom yet?

 **Lance:** .... Fuck. 

 **Matt:** Youtuber Leandro 'Lance' McClain found dead in Miami. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Hunk retweeted_

**protect lance mcclain** @smilesmorales

when Hunk said I feel like my parents are  
finally getting married. on everything i felt  
that shit in my soul. 

  
10:29 AM • Mar 16, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 _Hunk retweeted_  

 **veronica mcclain** @veronicamcclain

always nice to learn news about my baby brother  
from the people of the internet. fucking call me   
you asshole. 

12:30 AM • Mar 14, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 **Hunk** @ChefHunk

can't wait to watch veronica kick lance's ass. 

tune in to my snapchat for more news @ 7

12:32 AM • Mar 14, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Almost 4 Years Ago

 

 **Meeting ConspiracyKeith's Family**  
**Uploaded by Lance McClain**

 

The video starts with bubbly music and a quick logo that Lance no longer uses, these were the days before he even had his intro.

"So today is gonna be fun," The vlog starts with Lance sitting in his car, "Y'all remember my friend Keith, who has been in a couple of my videos." A few clips come on screen from their few collabs, "I'm actually in Texas right now, I was actually driving through on my way to Florida, first I'd like to say don't drive from California to Florida it's a dumb idea. I don't recommend at all, uhmm yeah. I was gonna stop for the night and then I remembered that Keith is actually here visiting family. And yeah it's a couple hours out of the way but i'm not in a rush and they invited me to stay for the weekend so why the fuck not. Hopefully his family aren't all weirdos like him."

 

↬

Later on in the video Lance parks in their driveway and pulls out his phone, Keith answers after two rings, "Yeah I see you, I'm coming out right now." 

"Oh alright, cool-" Keith hangs up before Lance finishes talking, "Wow Keith, I'm excited to be here too." Lance says to himself looking at the camera.

 

↬

 

"Hey, is it cool if I vlog?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Keith says as he grabs Lances bags to bring inside, "These the only ones you need?" 

"Uh, yeah thanks I can get the others-"

"You guys need any help out there?" Someone shouts from the front door, Lance turns to look but doesn't show the camera who it is. His eyes widen for a second and lips part as he thinks of things he definitely shouldn't be thinking, before he gives his I'm just meeting you so you need to have a good impression of me smile on. 

"No, we got it! Thanks though!" He shouts back, turning the camera to face Keith's older brother who smiles back, "Nice to meet you, I'm Lance." 

"Shiro. Well, Takashi Shirogane, but all of my friends call me Shiro." 

"Then, Nice to meet you Shiro. " 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **Lola Beseda** • two days ago

i'm cryin? imagine having actual footage of the actual   
moment you met the love of your life. 

 

 

 **wlw wally west**  • three years ago

i can tell just from those two seconds of interaction  
shiro's gonna be lance's next boyfriend bet. 

 

                          **lance mcclain**  • three years ago

                          god i fuckin wish. 

 

                        **pidge**  • two days ago

                          OP is a time traveler. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**kastudekus :**

i hope that person who made the post about  
why the think shance is canon is happy rn.

 

 **katsudekus reblogged:**  

also how the fuck did you miss lance   
literally commenting on his own video  
that he hopes he'll date shiro

 

**teafaerie reblogged:**

i am. 

 

# also i have no fucking idea # like y'alll he was thirsty for him since day one  
#how the fuck did we all miss that??? #i'm a fake fan. 

 

_5,232 notes_

* * *

 

 

 

 

 **gracie 🌻**  @shiroclains

 

shance are literally fucking engaged and   
i just saw a klancer make this about   
keith i'm gonna sCREAM!!!!!!!

let it die pls. 

 4:44 PM • Mar 18, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

 **Not Mothman**  @kokogane  
_replying to @shiroclains_

klance isn't a thing and won't ever be a thing ever again,  
Shiro and Lance are very happy and getting married and  
i couldn't be happier for them,, besides lance has a really  
weird dick. 

4:52 PM • Mar 18, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

                 **Lance McClain**  @LanceMcClain  
                _replying to @kokogane_

                ok for one second i was like wow is keith actually  
                being nice to me and then you ruined it !!!!!!!!!!!!  
                you are literally uninvited from my wedding you  
                absolute piece of shit. my dick is amazing, fuck   
                you very much. 

                 **freya**  @lancemcclaimsthisass  
                _responding to @kokogane @lancemcclain_  
                klance lives bitch!

 

 **gracie 🌻**  @shiroclains  
_responding to @lancemcclaimsthisass_

yeah i think you missed the whole point of  
this tweet / interaction. 

5:02 PM • Mar 18, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

 

* * *

 

 

**klancehunny-deactivated:**

i'm so sick of this whole bullshit. keith & lance led on their fans   
for years into thinking they're together and was in relationship with   
shiro the whole time. i'm so angry about them lying to us so long.   
i'm unsubscribing i can't support someone who'd lie to his "fans"   
for so long and pretend to be in relationship with someone else  
for views (keith) i'm so disappointed, and I know i'm not the only  
one who feels like this. 

 **keithactuallyismothman reblogged**  : 

bold of you to assume you have any rights to his privacy and   
that he owes anything to you. get the fuck out of here with that  
real lance stans are fucking glad to see y'all go. 

 

_304 notes_

 

* * *

 

 

 

 **zayla**  ♡ @teafaerie

lance shitting on klancers by getting   
engaged to keith's brother?

iconic.

ugh, his mind. 

  
3:43 AM • Mar 20, 2019 • Twitter for iPhone

  
120 Retweets 1.2k Likes

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ???? this is the first time, i have ever, like **_EVER_** , finished a fanfic?? what the fuck????
> 
> i mean i guess kinda cause i do want to add more to this and make it a series but at least i finished the first part!!!
> 
>  
> 
> uhhh, yeah, this will probably have the next part posted within the week so subscribe to the series if you guys want to read that. or specifically subscribe to my user if you're interested in my other works (because i have lots of shit to post, not just for shance, but also klance, bnha, and batfam/young justice.)
> 
> next part will be the whole blooper video cause i had a lot of ideas for the video but didn't want to make that too long.
> 
> edit: also i'm real confused about the wc on this because in docs it says it's 10.1k total???? ao3 explain.


End file.
